How to pass
the calm test

Exam stress and revision

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Exam stress and revision

Between hormones, homework and heartbreaks, teenagers have a lot
going on. Add exam pressure to the mix and it can easily tip over into stress and illness. This guide suggests ways you can support your teen safely through exam season, including how to spot signs of stress and when to get help.

What are the signs of exam stress?

It’s normal to feel some stress over exams. But sometimes ‘regular’ stress gets too much, leading to mental and physical health problems. Signs include:

Catastrophising – imagining the absolute worst outcome
Sleep that’s consistently disrupted, not just on one or two nights
A change in mood that lasts weeks rather than days
Withdrawal from friends and family
Loss of interest in eating and normal activities
Feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or being a burden.

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How can I help with stress?

By working with your teen, you can help them manage stress factors before they become a problem.

Talk about exams and results: actively listen to their worries and reassure them you’re there to support, not judge.
Help them to sleep well: good sleep improves concentration. Make sure they wind down, avoid caffeine and reduce screen time before bed.
Encourage exercise: exercise and sport can help boost energy levels, clear the mind and relieve stress.
Make time for fun: downtime should be part of the schedule, not a luxury, with room for treats and fun activities.
Celebrate small wins: reward achievements like completing a practice paper to boost self-worth and motivation.
Step away: regular breaks and time away from screens and books will let the brain rest.
Make sure they take time off: make sure they have days where they rest or take some healthy exercise to restore brain and body.

You can also help your child manage exam stress using psychological techniques like cognitive reframing, deep breathing, and mindfulness grounding. These are small simple techniques that can really make a difference.

Psychological techniques you can teach your child

Cognitive reframing (challenging negative thoughts): Help your child replace catastrophic thoughts (like "I am going to fail") with realistic self-talk (like "I am prepared", "I can do this", or "It’s ok to make mistakes").
Deep belly breathing: Guide them to inhale slowly through the nose for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds, and exhale smoothly through the mouth for 6 to 8 seconds to calm their nervous system.
The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique: Ask them to notice 5 things they can see, 4 things they can touch, 3 things they can hear, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste to bring an anxious mind back to the present. This is a great one to distract and help refocus when we all have those moments of panic.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Have them tense a group of muscles (like their hands or shoulders) for 3 seconds, then release them completely, moving step-by-step through the body to release physical tension. This also works well if your thoughts are racing, as it distracts your attention to your muscles and body.
Positive visualisation: Encourage them to close their eyes before the test and picture themselves remaining calm, reading questions clearly, and writing confident answers. We often fear what we can’t predict or visualise, this can help with that.

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How parents and carers can support the process

Validate their feelings: Listen without interrupting and acknowledge their overwhelm before trying to fix anything. See Young Minds Parents Guide for more help on this.
Reward effort, not just results: Praise their hard work and consistency rather than focusing entirely on grades. Don’t compare (it’s easy to do), by stating how you felt or how their friends might feel, as this is often interpreted as negative.
Encourage structure: Help them build a realistic revision timetable that includes short, regular breaks and physical activity, and get them involved in making it, don’t take charge.
Keep the home relaxed: Avoid adding pressure by talking about topics completely unrelated to school during downtime. Try to avoid any big family events or outings as this may disrupt routines and add to the pressure.

When to get help

Sometimes stress can escalate despite our best efforts. Contact your GP if your child is having panic attacks, not sleeping, being sick, or showing signs of withdrawal or self-harm.

Honest question: Do YOU stress about your teen's exams?

More than they do!
About the same
Less than them
Not really