Your health
matters too

Looking after yourself
to look after them

_{^{A GUIDE TO THE PRIMARY YEARS}}_^|_{^{YOUR HEALTH MATTERS TOO}}

Your health matters too

Becoming a parent turns your world upside down. Some changes are obvious – the new routines, a little person who’s always with you. Others, like the emotional strain, aren't always as visible.

Is it normal to feel different after becoming a parent?

Absolutely! Parenting takes a physical and mental toll that builds up over time and is rarely acknowledged. This life-changing transition even has a name – matrescence for mothers and patrescence for fathers¹.

Parental stress doesn’t just affect you in the baby years. When children start school, there’s a raft of logistics to manage – permission slips, packed lunches, being at the school gates by 3pm, alongside a huge emotional toll of leaving your child in the care of unfamiliar new people.

Also, the list of things to do keeps growing in everyday life – shopping, bills, work deadlines, trying to juggle parental responsibilities and potentially ageing parents – sometimes it can feel like everything else is more important than you and what you need.

Put all this together and it’s no wonder many parents find parenting harder than they thought.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

You’re definitely not alone. According to the Parentkind National Parent Survey.²

Around 1 in 3 parents find parenting difficult – that’s 3.7 million parents across the UK.
Two million mothers reported a lack of practical, emotional and financial support has negatively impacted their mental health.
860,000 parents feel lonely every day.

The main pressures parents report are time, work life balance, emotional fatigue, money worries and a lack of support networks.

Looking after yourself as a parent

One of the main challenges is making time for yourself and not allowing the guilt to get in the way. We can always find lots of other ‘things’ that need to get done before our own needs, and it is common to feel guilty for putting yourself first.

However, your needs matter and we all need to invest time into caring for ourselves.

Don’t let your own checkups slip down the list.
Share the load. Talk to your partner or other family members about who does what.
Try to get enough sleep, eat well and get some exercise – even if it’s just a quick walk.
Recognise the signs of burnout – irritability, numbness, dread and losing interest.
Don’t wait until breaking point to ask for help.

_{1. What is matrescence? –}_{AXA Health}
_{2.National Parent Survey –}_Parentkind

_{^{A GUIDE TO THE PRIMARY YEARS}}_^|_{^{YOUR HEALTH MATTERS TOO}}_{^{| WHAT SUPPORT CAN I GET?}}

What to do if you're struggling

Start small by changing one thing at a time. Accept how you feel; it really is ok not to be ok. And stay in regular contact with people — connection helps support wellbeing. Also get outdoors and get active, regular exercise can help relieve stress and also release happy endorphins.³

What support can I get?

Talking things through can be a huge relief. If you can’t talk to family or friends, parent charities and peer groups can help. If things feel unmanageable, see your GP – they can point you towards the right support.

The Samaritans are available 24/7 if you need to talk to someone urgently.

_{3. The mental health benefits of physical activity –}_{Better Health, NHS}

Support for our members

If you’re an AXA Health member and 18+, you can call our 24/7 health support line on 0800 003 004 and talk to a healthcare professional at any time of the day or night.

The 24/7 health support line cannot respond to emergencies. If you need an urgent response or have a medical emergency, please call 111/999 or go to A&E. Our health professionals don’t diagnose or prescribe, and don’t replace your GP.

The 24/7 health support line is unable to provide counselling or therapy services but can provide health information from a qualified health professional, and signpost support services that may be available to you.